Entertain Us

Patrick Cannell 2019
ENTERTAIN US
Entertain us. We are in need of entertainment.
Entertain us. We are in need of entertainment.
Entertain us. Entertain us.

AND WHEN IT'S OVER
And, when it's over,
We'll do it again but who can say when?
There'll be no ending
Like any ending there's been since you came on the scene.

I'm with you all the way.
And if you break your leg I won't desert you.
No, I don't think that I could ever hurt you.

And when the stars fall
Down from the sky, we'll make a star pie.

I'm with you all the way.
And if you break my arm I won't reject you.
No, I don't think I ever could neglect to

Drive you into town
When your teeth are brown
I'll even pay the dentist's fee.

GOING TO SEE THE DENTIST
We'll be going to see the dentist
In the middle of the day.
We'll be going to see the dentist.

We'll be going to get our teeth pulled
And we will not have to pay.
We'll be going to see the dentist.

And we are quite immune to pain. Oh how I love that nitrous oxide.
And, thanks to anaesthetics, everything's fixed and A okay,
At least for today.

WHEN THE METER READER COMES
When the meter reader comes
He won't be twiddling his thumbs.
He'll do some complicated sums and then we'll know.

When the meter reader's here
We can bribe him with some beer.
He'll tell us what we want to hear and then we'll know.

No need for estimations, we get them all year long.

And when the meter reader goes
He'll wipe his hands and blow his nose,
There'll be a letter in the post and then we'll know.

Please entertain us. Please entertain us.

REACH FOR THE AFTERSHAVE
Reach for the aftershave, there's nothing else to drink.
The whiskey and the brandy have been poured down the sink.
I've got a nasty thirst and well you know it's true.
The Bishop took my bottle, now what a thing to do?

Reach for the antifreeze, it keeps the chill away.
I'd rather be in ward six than sober for a day.
Tin cups and tumblers are not enough for me,
Life is dull and dismal when they are all empty.

What good's a bucket when the well is dry?